I gave you insight on my bad days, now here’s a look into one of my good days.
My good days are really bad days but not as bad bad days if that makes sense. No? It makes no sense to me either.
Anyway. My good days start with me getting up with a great attitude ready to face the world and do all the things. Give me a half hour and I don’t want to do anything and my attitude have simmered down to meh. My good days I really do get stuff done and actually genuinely smile. I go out and do things, most times anxiously because I mean who goes to the grocery store without their anxiety acting up? Oh that’s right, I do. But really though, my good days are days I look forward to. These are days where I can laugh with Terry and joke with him. Days I can smile and converse like nothing is wrong. On the inside though I’m still dying. That little voice in my head is still there telling me I’m not good enough or the person I’m talking to is judging me.
You might think why think those things and ruin your good day? HELLO! I don’t choose to be like this. That seems to be one thing people don’t get. I don’t choose to be depressed or anxious. I don’t choose to cry for no reason. I don’t choose to have panic attacks. They all just happen.
So here’s the thing I want you to get out of this blog.
1. I’m really sleepy and have like 4 hours left of my shift. I don’t know if any of this makes sense
2. Don’t assume I have a choice in what my brain does.
3. Good days, bad days, any days I’m still me. Don’t treat me different on any day. Just treat me right that’s all I ask!
Peace and love! ✌🏻💕