Love. It’s a strange word.

Have you ever wondered what it’s like to love someone with a mental illness? No? Well I’ll share with you anyway.

I know for my parents it has to be difficult seeing their daughter suffer. Cry all the time. Want to die and plain out hate the world. As much as I love my parents I don’t realize how badly I’m hurting them until after I have a huge depression episode, which has happened more frequently these past few weeks.

My friends they worry. They tell me they are there for me. I’m sure when I post sad things they wonder if I’m okay or wonder if something happened.

I think the person it takes the most tole on is my boyfriend. Terry is a Saint. I don’t know how he puts up with everything. I know he hurts when I hurt. He wishes he could fix what’s wrong with me. I know he loves me. I know he cares. I hate that I hurt him. I really do.

I never think about how my depression and anxiety affect those I care about.

So if you suffer from mental illness or anything for that matter, think of your loved ones and how your suffering might be affected those you care about.

Peace and love. ✌🏻💕

2 thoughts on “Love. It’s a strange word.

  1. Ashley,

    Do you have a good therapist? Are you taking the right medication for you?

    I am sure you already know this but maybe it will help to hear it from someone who has lived most of her life with two seriously mentally ill family members. My mother was diagnosed when I was 12, she passed away in September of 2017. My brother got sick when he was in college. In addition, I have several extended family members with serious mental illness. Mental illness is a chemical imbalance in your brain. No different that someone with any other illness. Getting the correct treatment makes a world of difference.

    One in four adults have a diagnosable mental illness. One in five adolescents.

    It is wonderful that you are sharing your life with others. You will be an excellent nurse. Take one day at a time.

    The people in your life that love you hopefully understand. My experiences with my own family made me the person I am today. I won’t lie, life was not always easy. It still isn’t. However, I love my family and would not trade them for any other.

    Stay strong💕

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We are currently working on my medication. I think with nursing school coming up it’s making everything on high alert and I need a little extra. I’ve tried counselors but I’ve actually found sharing my story through these blogs has helped make me feel better than talking to a therapist. Thank you for reaching out Karen!


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