Abuse. Again, I’m going there..

You hear abuse and you think physical, emotional, mental, sexual, verbal. It’s a lot and here’s my story of my abuse..

Guys, I’m serious when I say I’m no different than before you read this. Don’t look or think of me differently. Please. No judgement.

Now here comes the tough part… sexually abused. Yes, you read that correctly. This is tough for me sharing this with the world. It’s something you normally keep secret right? I break the stigma remember? No secrets. There was a guy in my past who I had a long time friendship with. Towards the end of that friendship I realized how manipulative and mean he was. How controlling he was and tried to bring me down. He made me believe I couldn’t survive without him in my life. Well he also thought my body was his. And I was dumb enough to let him. It wasn’t until I was telling Terry about it that I realized it was abuse.

Me? Ashley? Sexually abused? That’s not supposed to happen. I’m that happy go lucky girl that the only problem she has is her depression.

Do you know how disgusted I felt with myself after I came to the realization. How I hated myself. How I felt like I wasn’t worth it, that no one would want me. Mind you I had a boyfriend who reminded me daily how special I was. But I couldn’t get past the fact that I was sexually abused.

It’s been almost 2 and a half years since I’ve realized this and I’m still shook by it. It still bothers me. Things I hear or see remind me of that time and I break.

I speak my truth not to scare you or get pity from you but to educate you. Educate you that anyone could have a past like this. Don’t judge someone by their outside, get to know them.

Peace and love, I appreciate you all.


One thought on “Abuse. Again, I’m going there..

  1. You weren’t “dumb”, he was a predator who used your heart against you. I know I’m commenting a lot… I don’t pity you, you have suffered yet have kindness in your heart instead of being hardened. I’m glad you’re sharing your story. Your words have value.

    Liked by 1 person

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