Catch up..

I haven’t wrote in awhile. Why? Life, work, plain not wanting to write. I sit here tonight probably feeling the lowest I’ve felt in a long time.

To catch you all up, the only thing that changed has been a breast reduction and insurance covering my weight loss meds. Those two things in combination have made for a difficult time.

January I got notification that my weight loss injection was no longer covered by my insurance because I was not using it for it’s labeled purpose, which was type 2 diabetes. They would rather not prevent me from getting type 2 diabetes and let me develop it to have to take the drug anyway. I have insulin resistance and PCOS. Now my weight I lost came back and probably more and I feel crappier in my body again.

April came and I had a breast reduction. 9 pounds total came out of that surgery and it’s 9 pounds I can do without. My back feels better my neck feels better. I all around feel better. But yet I don’t. Now that my breasts don’t cover my stomach any shirt I wear makes me look like I’m pregnant. Don’t get me wrong I would love to be pregnant but looking like it when I’m not is a no go. I was definitely not prepared for what my body was going to do after this surgery. How my brain would feel.

Top that off, I’ve not been super consistent with my psych meds either. Yeah I know what was I thinking. Well I couldn’t take them on surgery day and the next days following I didn’t want to take them. I’m slowly getting back to taking them again after two weeks and boy could I tell a difference. I was way more emotional, crying a every little thing. But I was also short and annoyed easily. I’m not sleeping well either since I can’t sleep on my stomach.

I’m also off work for 6 weeks. It’s been two weeks now and I feel isolated, alone, severely depressed. But I did that to myself, between not taking my meds and choosing not to do things. I have my dog, that’s enough right?

These next few weeks have other surprises in store for me so hopefully things will look up from here. Plus my birthday is Friday.

Now that you’re all caught up on me and I word vomited I think I’ll call it a night.

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